Let's start a list of Redneck Jokes...

[Squirrelhunter91]

Oneida man's redneck joke post gave me an idea. Why don't we start a list of our own redneck jokes?

Don't post the same joke twice.

I'll start us off..

You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph!

[Big_Bubbles]

You might be a redneck if u go to a family reunion looking for a date

[Big_Bubbles]

You might be a redneck if the tires on your truck cost more than your truck

[Big_Bubbles]

you might be a redneck you u have a camper 14 feet up in the air to hunt out of

[lil hunter]

you might be a redneck if you work without a shirt on, and so does your husband.

[007hunter]

[ QUOTE ]
You might be a redneck if you try to empty the back of ur truck by going really fast and hitting on the breaks.


[/ QUOTE ]

How does that work? Wouldn't u have to be goin in reverse?

[Steven]

Maybe a novel idea, but how about some originals, rather than just listing a bunch of recycled Foxworthy jokes.

[Tominator]

If you plow up your back yard with an Oliver 770 and 3 bottom plow just to make your sweetcorn patch bigger for next year---

You might be a redneck

(is that original enough Uncle Steven?) http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[konfuzed]

You might be a redneck if you don't see anything wrong with swinging by the jail to pick up your hunting partner. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Squirrelhunter91]

[ QUOTE ]
you might be a redneck if you practice shootin yer bow from your treestand mounted to the telephone pole outside

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey.. I do that... J/K http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[popgun]

If you practice your marksmanship by shooting your 30.06 at blackbirds that land in your back yard, you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[popgun]

You might be a redneck if you bathe your favorite huntin' dog once a month, but the last time you showered, was the last time you washed your truck.
.....popgun

[popgun]

You might be a Redneck if you scoff at the blonde next door because she thinks "Flea Dip" is some new kind of smokeless tobacco product.
.....popgun

[popgun]

You might be a Redneck if you still use the same lawn tractor to mow your front yard as you do to bush hog your firing lanes.
.....popgun

[popgun]

If you would buy a junk,non-running lawn mower at the flea market, because you might could use it for parts, you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[popgun]

You might be a Redneck if you bought your family's Christmas gifts, at your neighbor's yard sale.
.....popgun

[popgun]

If a garden tiller, weed whacker, push mower, or leaf blower is on your wife's Mothers Day wishlist, you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[popgun]

If your Sweet Corn Patch is planted in your back yard for drinkin' instead of eatin', you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[popgun]

If you ask your wife to bring in the mail because you are out of toilet paper, you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[Reloader]

If Thanksgiving dinner has you spitting #4 Hevi-Shot back onto your plate...you might be a Redneck http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Reloader]

If you shot your last 3 deer from your back porch and no neighbors complained...you might be a Redneck. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[va_strutstopper]

Valentines, Redneck Style
Kudzu is green, my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

You're as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop right out of the can.

You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.

And speakin' of wits, you've got plenty fer shore.
'Cuz you married me back in '74.

Still them fellers at work they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and stick 'em in the can.

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler racin' through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like no far ant upon which I oft' tread.

Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

And when you get old like a '57 Chevy,
Won't put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart; It's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day,
From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these will not do.
For you are too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odour,
Better than diamonds, it's a new trollin' motor.

[popgun]

If one of your highbrow neighbors are talking about their dish washer, and you mistakenly think they are talking about their dog, you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[Reloader]

If you refer to your spouse as your automatic dishwasher...you may be a redneck. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[popgun]

If someone mentions "roadkill" and your mouth waters, you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[popgun]

If you know for a fact that Christmas dinner is better than Thanksgiving dinner at the local jail, you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[popgun]

If you have, what you consider to be a really good recipe for Armadillo, you might be a Redneck.
....popgun

[va_strutstopper]

you might be a redneck if you have dynamite and
blasting caps in your tacklebox

[popgun]

If your key-chain could serve you well as a boat anchor, you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[HeviShot]

Your child gets in a fight with a kid just because he's wearing #24.

[popgun]

If your son gets kicked out of his fourth grade class because he didn't shave, you might be a Redneck.
.....popgun

[bulldawg]

If you almost go into convulsions because you got a twist off pop cap that said "Free 20 oz. Pepsi", you might be a redneck.

[10acboy]

How about -

If you accidently take a sip out of you spit can and you don't spit it back out you might be a redneck

[popgun]

This one is for TSBH
How about.....If your "claim to fame", is being made a moderator of a hunting web-site, you might be a Redneck.

Just funnin' ya, but I think this is my best one yet. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif.....popgun

[Texan_Til_I_Die]

If the mower you use to clean up the yard around deer camp breaks down, and there just happens to be 600 head of holsteins grazing in the wheat field behind the house, and you just happen to open the gate and let about 150 head into the yard for a couple of hours...

I MIGHT BE A REDNECK!
Yep, really did that last Saturday. But hey, at least we do have a yard at deer camp! And we got it mowed and fertilized at the same time for free! http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[chicks_hunt_to]

if you and your buddys drown in the local lake because you couldnt get the tail gate of your topless truck down... you might be a redneck


my favorite from jeff foxworthy- you might be a red neck if you fall asleep in a pancake house. Well i am cause i fall asleep in a pancake house every night

[huntaholic]

You might be a redneck...
if you think a sex change is moving to the backseat.
if your idea of safe sex is puttin on the emergency brake.
if you think 401k is you mother in-laws bra size.

[Reloader]

[ QUOTE ]
you might be a redneck if you have dynamite and
blasting caps in your tacklebox

[/ QUOTE ]
In the same compartment...Im running like heck...