Profalactics in schools

[AllArmyoutdoorsSD]

I know this can be a touchy subject, But I wanted to know how other parents feel about schools teaching "Safe Sex" and offering protection to our kids. I am a conservative, but not to the point that I don't think that kids are trying to act like adults, so I am a little torn on the subject. Yes I want my child to practice abstenance, but on the other hand if she doesn't I want her to know how to protect her self as well. What are your thoughts? http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[Andrea]

I would love for my boys to practice abstinence but I'm no fool. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

I want them to use protection but I am not gonna go out and buy them boxes of condoms and endorse the use of them. Ya know? As far as the school teaching kids about sex, well, I am the one who should be teaching my children about that subject. However, there are a LOT of kids out there that will never learn about it unless their friends or the school teaches them.


The real question is: At what age level do the schools think that this is appropriate??

[AllArmyoutdoorsSD]

I know that it is my job to teach my child about these things, however it seems like kids have so many influencers out there it seem that what I say may have a lower effect rate than when I was growing up. In the job I am doing now I notice that teachers and guidance councelors are influencing students more and more.

At what age? I work with High Schoolers all day every day, and to be honest they are far more advanced physically now than when I was 16, 17 etc..
Maybe 8th graders shoul be introduced to Preventative medicine. I just wish more parents would step up. I have got a while before my daughter is going to be affected by this, but I can't help but worry.

[johnf]

Offering condoms in school is just like the mother who puts her 14 year old daughter on the pill. It is giving them permission to have sex.

There are only three purly safe forms of sex.

1. abstonence

2. between two people who have never had it befor and will never have another partner.

3. The Pee Wee Herman method. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Kids need to be educated on the percentages of pregnancies and STD's transmitted while using "safe sex" percautions. Not given the opportunities to find out the hard way.

I love my son, but he and I are both statistics and were'nt planned.

[buckee]

I agree with John.
It's the Parents job to teach their kids abstinance or bless their sexual activities at a young age, Not our schools.
Schools should be taking the high road and teaching abstinance. Putting those machines in the washrooms in schools is like giving kids the green light. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[AllArmyoutdoorsSD]

I understand where you two are coming from, and agree. I don't necesarily believe it to be a good idea to give hand outs in school. But concidering the amount of time kids spend at school, verses time with parents, where are they getting their education? Is abstinance realistic? I don't have an opinion as of yet I am just voicing thoughts. I live in a relatively small town, but teen pregnancy is high, drug use is high, alcohol use is extremely high. Here sex ed is not realy accepted by society, and there are bills in congress right now going both ways. I just don't want to be the parent who believes in fairy tales and ends up with a pregnant daughter at age 13, because I was preaching abstinance, but on the same hand I don't want to condone this behavior either. Is there a middle road?

[muggs]

[ QUOTE ]
I agree with John.
It's the Parents job to teach their kids abstinance or bless their sexual activities at a young age, Not our schools.
Schools should be taking the high road and teaching abstinance. Putting those machines in the washrooms in schools is like giving kids the green light. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Buckee, kids are gonna do it anyway. At least they should be taught to do it safely.

[buckee]

[ QUOTE ]
Is abstinence realistic?

[/ QUOTE ]
I think it's very realistic. The only thing that makes it unrealistic, is when we as parents bow to the pressures of the world around us, and give up or moral responsibilities in favour of the old adage "Well, they're going to do it anyway, so what's the use" When we give up on our kids in that way at home, and then at school, we have opened up a very wide door, that no-one can close.

[AllArmyoutdoorsSD]

Without sounding argumentative, Are you saying to teach abstinence period? I am a strong parent, and I see my child testing me constantly. The times she decides to test me when I am not there is what worries me. Kids have a varacious hunger for knowledge, good and bad. By teaching only abstinence, I wonder if i am not leaving a door open for challenge by peers, and boys.

[Mathews XT Man]

muggs may I remind you...abstenance is the ONLY safe way!! codomes do NOT fully protect you from ALL of the diseases out there!

[johnf]

[ QUOTE ]

Buckee, kids are gonna do it anyway. At least they should be taught to do it safely.

[/ QUOTE ]

I teach in one of the lowest achieving schools in the state, We have fights on a daily basis, we've had as many as 6 in one day 3 of which the police had to be called. After 3 years here I have one of the biggest and best small school band in the area. I had more kids make honor bands this year than 4 3A, 4A and 5A schools. This year so far I've had zero discipline problems with my band kids.

My point is this. Kids will perform at whatever level you expect them to. I expet the best my kids are capable of, that's what they give me.

If you teach your kids that they'll "Do it anyway" they won't disappoint you.

[buckee]

[ QUOTE ]
If you teach your kids that they'll "Do it anyway" they won't disappoint you.

[/ QUOTE ]
I agree
[ QUOTE ]
Buckee, kids are gonna do it anyway. At least they should be taught to do it safely.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's the lazy parents way out.
[ QUOTE ]
Are you saying to teach abstinence period?

[/ QUOTE ]
Yes, I am. Abstinence before marriage is what everyone should be teaching their kids.
Did I abstain before marriage ... No, but I sure left a lot of garbage behind me because of it. Just because I didn't abstain before marriage, doesn't make promiscuity right.
Did may daughter follow my advice ?..........No, but her decisions in life are not on my head, and she will have something solid to fall back on when she see's how right the teaching is, when she has her own kids someday, and wants nothing but the very best for them, including God's blessing in all that they do.
The thing is, if your not teaching them abstinance, then what are you teaching them.

My opinion and belief

[horst]

[ QUOTE ]
Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buckee, kids are gonna do it anyway. At least they should be taught to do it safely.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


That's the lazy parents way out

[/ QUOTE ]

No thats just being realistic.I dont care how good of parent you are, at some point your kids gonna test you.You preach abstinence all the time its just gonna make em wonder what the fuss is about and wanna find out for themselves.Maybe some of you dont remember being over run with hormones at that age but it doesnt neccasarily make for good decision making.Id rather have the condom option there for my kids then have them getting pregnant or impregnating someone elses and possibly ruining the rest of thier lives.

[johnf]

Set the bar low and you'll always reach your goal.

Great philosophy. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[unioncountyslayer]

Not to sound like a goody-goody http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif but growing up my parents stressed the importance of abstinence. They didn't shove it down my throat, but I knew in my heart right from wrong and it was up to me to make the right decision. I decided to wait until I married, and was lucky enough to meet a girl that had made the same decision. And as a result our wedding night was the most special day in our lives. Everyone has free will and self-control. I'm not saying it was easy, but the reward was well worth the wait. My honest $.02

[wtnhunt]

In my opinion parents should have the opportunity to have those talks with their kids when they think they are ready, and it should not be the school giving kids this information to all kids in elementary or middle school before they are really ready. Seems like anymore they are jumping the gun and while educating kids is a good thing, educating them too early in my opinion may have adverse effects. I honestly dont think the schools should have any business educating our children on this subject, but they do it anyways, and to early at that.

As for them giving the kids condoms, I do think that in a sense that promotes the use of them. I just dont agree with the idea of schools having that right.

[AllArmyoutdoorsSD]

That is why I like this place, whenever a member has question, you can count on the input of several. I was raised with a lack of parents, so I want to make Sure I do it better. Thank you all I appreciate everyones comments.

[Nut]

As a Dad to 3 sons I also try to be realistic about this subject. I make sure they know the situations that could happen like STD's. It is not easy being a teen with the peer pressure that happens. Hopefully I have done right in trying to have my sons be their own judge and not worry about how others think about them. I trust in them making the right choices and inform them that I do. I might be taking a chance but when a parent trusts a child they find it harder to do something as I have found. http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Canadian_Goose]

With all the media and peer pressure around, one does not have to be a genious to recognize that parents and teachers are not the only influence on the kids. While I have nothing against abstience and think of it as the ultimate for of safety, it is nice to have something to fall back on. Everyone makes mistakes right and what happens when the bar is set to high sometimes? I believe in the education of safe intercourse and alternative options to intercourse. But thats just my opinion. What advice do you offer to people who do not want to get married at the moment but have been together for nearly a decade. I think it should be more contextual than absolute.

[johnf]

I think if a couple has been together for 10 years and don't want to get married, they should probibly move on and find someone they want to marry.

[Canadian_Goose]

I'm just trying to say abstinence doesn't work for everyone, no matter how prudent the parent is on it. Even when it was embraced as the sole way of safe sex, std's and unwanted pregnancy's still occured. I believe that abstinence works for many people, but like others have pointed out, we must be realistic, it is not absolute and it might be nice to have something to fall back on. Plus isnt it required that the parents sign a permission slip to participate in sex ed? Parents still have control.

[stevebeilgard]

condoms are 85% effective. russian roulette at it's finest....

[Canadian_Goose]

85 is better than zero if they are going to do it anyways in my opinion.

[johnf]

So if your son has sex with a girl with herpies 5 times, he's probibly going to have an STD for life. Not a chance I want to mine to take.

[horst]

and if he was to have sex without a condom with the same girl are his chances of contracting it better or worse??

[Texan_Til_I_Die]

Here's a slightly different take on the subject and I suspect several folks will disagree with me (so what else is new? http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif ).

I want the schools teaching my kids how to read, write, do mathematics, understand geography and history, and that sort of thing. Leave the social and moral teachings like sex ed to me.

[johnf]

[ QUOTE ]
Here's a slightly different take on the subject and I suspect several folks will disagree with me (so what else is new? http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif ).

I want the schools teaching my kids how to read, write, do mathematics, understand geography and history, and that sort of thing. Leave the social and moral teachings like sex ed to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree in principle with you TX. The problem is that the majority of parents don't teach any morals at all to their kids that I can tell. Those kids then "infect" the minds of the ones who have good parents. I teach morals every day by the examples that I give.

For instance, yesterday in my music appriciation class, a video that we were watching said something about Lewis Armstron being unfaithfull to his first wife. When one of the kids commented I said something about haveing stronger morals than Armstrong. One of the kids asked me "What are morals". So I told them, that morals are a set of decisions that I've made in advanced. Like not stealing, cheating, lying, or cheating on my wife even when I know I could get away with it.

In a class of 15 all but 2 seriously had never heard of anything like that. Nor did they believe that someone who has been married for 10 1/2 years had never cheated on their spouse.

The sad truth is that if I don't teach morals in my classroom there are kids who will never know what they are.

[Texan_Til_I_Die]

I guess it's a sad commentary on the state of today's parenting if the only moral guidance these kids are receiving has to come from one of their teachers... http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[wtnhunt]

I cannot speak for other parents, but we are doing the best we can with our girls and we try to lead by example and instill good ethics and moral values in our children. My view on morals is that kids learn what they live. I would prefer the school not teach them about sex ed at all. I think my wife and I have done and will do just fine without their help in that regard.

When parents are out partying leaving the kids with whoever and when mom is screwing around on dad or visa versa or one or both parents are deadbeats, it is easy to understand where people nowadays just do not seem to have the moral values that were expected in people years ago.

[carbonhunter]

[ QUOTE ]
Here's a slightly different take on the subject and I suspect several folks will disagree with me (so what else is new? http://www.realtree.com/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif ).

I want the schools teaching my kids how to read, write, do mathematics, understand geography and history, and that sort of thing. Leave the social and moral teachings like sex ed to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

abstinence is great, thats what i was taught in school. I think every kid should go through that. You realize what chances you are takeing. Its up to the parents to teach about condoms,sponges,and spermicide. Its up to the parents to figure out what they should know. I had abstinence in high school, but my parents where firm about what to use and when.....just in case I decided to run off. Remember sex is everywhere today. You should teach them how to be safe or be ready to see them with child. Sex is everywhere, if you think your son/daughter isnt a part of it the only person your fooling is yourself.

[johnf]

[ QUOTE ]
I cannot speak for other parents, but we are doing the best we can with our girls and we try to lead by example and instill good ethics and moral values in our children. My view on morals is that kids learn what they live. I would prefer the school not teach them about sex ed at all. I think my wife and I have done and will do just fine without their help in that regard.

When parents are out partying leaving the kids with whoever and when mom is screwing around on dad or visa versa or one or both parents are deadbeats, it is easy to understand where people nowadays just do not seem to have the moral values that were expected in people years ago.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are exactly right!