Memorable quotes from the pulpit.

[johnf]

Not all from the preacher, but still memorable.

Youth pastor "I'm so sure I'm saved, I would swing over the gates of h*** on a roll of toilet paper with a squirtgun in my hand"

Youth doing offeratory prayer ".....and please Lord help the Cowboys kick the Saints butts."

Evandualist "I'm going to say this loud and slow so you grey haird old ladys can get it too"

Young man who just surrendered to the ministry "Oh crap, I think the batteries dead"..... It's wasn't.

Pastor- "Your smart investment would be a 1 acer marijuana patch in the back yard, well, I guess I can't really say smart."

Recruiter for vacation bible school. "Good news! God has chosen all the workers already for vacation bible school and I don't have to ask anyone to work......................

Those of you who just felt joy in your hearts when I said that are the ones who God chose. The sign up sheet is in the back hallway to the right."

[HarvDog]

[ QUOTE ]
Youth pastor "I'm so sure I'm saved, I would swing over the gates of h*** on a roll of toilet paper with a squirtgun in my hand"


[/ QUOTE ]

I like this one a lot!

[Exturkinator]

"it doesn't matter about the size of your boat, only who your captain is"

Mike Glenn
Brentwood Baptist Church (Brentwood TN) - circa 1989

[RangerClay]

We don't have AC in our churches up north. It was a terribly hot Sunday morning. Many people were fanning themselves. Our Priest stepped up to the podium, paused for a second then said, "If you think it's hot now, you should see ****." He then returned to his seat. You could have heard a pin drop.

[Mathews XT Man]

How true Ranger,... how ture!!