Choosing a church

[Gator]

With all that has happened here the last month or so, I have been contemplating going to church to see how I like it, and to see will that will lead me. Problem is, I have NO idea where to start in choosing one. My neighbors go regurlarly, and have contemplated going with them, but I am not sure on the denomination or anything like that, guess I could have asked last night, but didn't. I'd like to find a small comfortable one to attend, how do I look for one?

[swampfox]

That's a complicated question. I am sure you could get dozens of different answers from folks about their favorite denominations, worship styles, carpet color, etc. Based upon your post, I assume that you did not grow up attending church and are unfamiliar with the Bible. If this is not correct, forgive me for telling you things you may already know.

I would first begin to study the Scriptures diligently. The apostle Paul wrote letters to new Christians explaining the Christian life to them. I found these to be very helpful as a new Christian, particularly Romans, Galatians, 1 & 2 Corinthians, and Ephesians. Also study the 4 gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) which tell of the life of Jesus Christ. Christians believe that the Bible is the only infallible, verifiable standard against which our lives and our churches must be examined. Without a firm foundation in God's word, you will not be able to tell if the truth is being taught or some grievous error. I, or some preacher, or some church could lead you astray, but God's word will never lead you wrong.

There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Prov 16:25

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Matthew 7:13-15

Second, in deciding upon a denomination, you should probably survey some of church history. Read about the Protestant Reformation of the 16th century, the Great Awakening in America in the 18th century. Read a biography of George Whitefield or Hudson Taylor, or John Paton, or David Brainerd. Doing so will teach you about what Christianity is supposed to look like. What poses as Christianity in America today is often far removed from actual Christianity.

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Mathew 7:21

In visiting a church, look for people are serious about their faith. Are the folks there really interested in Jesus and his Word. Are they living holy lives or just pretending? Look at their homes to see if they are in order (1 Timothy 3:2-5)? Do they look like they are living for self or for a holy, righteous, and omnipotent God who has purchased them?

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19

Finally, do not be in a hurry. If you don't know much about things at first, ask those who do; and get into the Berean habit of familiarizing yourself with what God teaches in His Word.

And the brethren immediately sent away Paul and Silas by night unto Berea: who coming thither went into the synagogue of the Jews. These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Acts 17:10-11

There are thousands of sermons on various topics available free through www.sermonaudio.com. This sight has been a huge help to me. I can download sermons to my Ipod or burn them onto disks to listen in the car. There is a recommended sermon list that could get you started. There are lots of historical sermons as well to learn more about the Reformation or specific people such as Calvin, Augustine, etc.

To summarize, choosing the right church is extremely important. But it is no replacement for developing a relationship with your Creator and Advocate. If you desire to know and walk with God, tell Him so. He will begin to reveal Himself to you in an amazing fashion.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13

All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. John 6:37

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 28:11

I hope this helps.

[Mathews XT Man]

I'll keep it very simple... If the church you find does not teach right out of the Bible, word for word, chapter by chapter,...LEAVE and find one that does!

[unioncountyslayer]

Go with your neighbor, if it's not the church for you, you will know. There's nothing wrong with checking out several churches to find one that is a fit for you. You could also do a google search of churches in your area. Most churches these days have websites with detailed info on what they are all about and their beliefs.

[Bachflock]

I agree with Oneida...

but it is still a very personal decision. If you go to a church and aren't fed spiritual then its not a place to go. I am a firm believer that a solid church teaches the Gospel without power-puffing it and doesn't try to add nor take away from what it is; it shows the heart of compassion Christ did without go so far to accept things that God rejects, etc. There are SO many things to consider but you won't know until you pick a church and attend. I want a firm handshake and a pleasent greeting when I walk in. I want to feel welcomed without feeling pressed (as in trapped). You should WANT to go back. At first may feel a bit awkward - like you're an outsider but the people ought to treat you as a friend.

I'd encourage you to try it out. Get yourself into a good, fundamental, Bible teaching, God fearing church. You won't regret it.

[Jeramie]

Im Proud of you Jason! Youre turning in a very good direction bud.

Look for an established Church. Small is good but dont limit yourself. A lot of big Churches have great teachers, ministers, etc. Whatever one you choose, if you dont feel comfortable, dont give up on that one. As others have said, if they start "bending" the bible walk out after service and dont go back. Churches will fit like a glove. Dont get in to big of a hurry, eventually you will find one that literally feels like home.

Keep me updated bud, im happy for you.

[christsavedme]

Jason.....I would like to second what Jeramie has pointed out.....I'm proud of you! Looks like God is already working on your heart.

As already mentioned just get involved....if it is the right one you will know it! Just don't settle, there are many churches out there. Take your time and find the right one for you.

May God bless you as you start this journey! Keep your head up and just know that we are all praying for you!

[gone_postal]

I agree with Oneida...

but it is still a very personal decision. If you go to a church and aren't fed spiritual then its not a place to go. I am a firm believer that a solid church teaches the Gospel without power-puffing it and doesn't try to add nor take away from what it is; it shows the heart of compassion Christ did without go so far to accept things that God rejects, etc. There are SO many things to consider but you won't know until you pick a church and attend. I want a firm handshake and a pleasent greeting when I walk in. I want to feel welcomed without feeling pressed (as in trapped). You should WANT to go back. At first may feel a bit awkward - like you're an outsider but the people ought to treat you as a friend.

I'd encourage you to try it out. Get yourself into a good, fundamental, Bible teaching, God fearing church. You won't regret it.

That's the best advice one can give.....good luck in your search......you are making one of the most important and life changing decisions there is.....things can only get better from there!

[bfletch7441]

Big churches are good, and small churches are good, but if they spend more time in the bulletin than the Bible, they're focusing on the wrong things.

You're taking the right step in your healing process. There's no greater strength and love than that of our Father Jesus Christ. Allow him to guide your decisions, and you'll never go wrong.

Best of luck.

Ben

[Gator]

Thanks everyone. I will be gone next weekend, so I will probably start my search after that, I don't want to go this weekend, miss a weekend, and what not, I wanna start and do so without a break in the middle.

Jeramie, how will I know if they are "bending" the bible? Sad to say, but I have never read the bible, and I am SURE I wouldn't really understand it.

[Andrea]

Jason........I am so happy for you. Reading this brought a tear to my eye. I hope that whatever church you decide on.......you find one that truly speaks to you and you enjoy going there.

I will pray that the decision is easy and that your search is shortlived.

[markyj987]

swampfox had some excellent suggestions! I found a series of lectures on the modern church (Reformation-present) taught by Dr. David Calhoun, a theology professor at a seminary. It is from a historical perspective and pretty unbiased (though he does point out the obvious--that he's a Calvinist in a lecture). You can download the series, lecture by lecture from http://www.covenantseminary.edu/worl...H320/CH320.asp

I kind of want to expand on what Jeramie said about finding a church that is comfortable and one that does not bend the Word of God. I used to go to a church that made me feel very comfortable. The pastor and congregation were very easygoing, said all the right things, and their motto was that their church wasn't a place of judgement, that they accepted all, etc.

After studying the church's doctrine, we learned that they basically ignored what the Bible had to say on many things. Never once, for example, did he even address the fact that my fiancee and I were living together before marriage. It sure made me feel good! What I'm saying is don't find a church that makes you feel comfortable at the expense of the truth.

Since we went to our new church, there have been many times the preacher talked about something that made me uncomfortable. Even with the right church, you will feel uncomfortable when God's word shines on you and you realize that you have sinned and need forgiveness. I can't even tell you how many times I've squirmed in the pew and thought to myself, "yep, I'm guilty of." That's the beauty of the gift Jesus gave to us though--through repenting and calling on him, we are forgiven.

[buckee]

I'm going to say ditto to what Marky said there.
There are too many churches these days, who want to please the world, rather than preach the truth. It's the Truth that condemns us, convicts us. It's God's grace through Jesus Christ, that forgives us, and changes us.

[Jeramie]

Jeramie, how will I know if they are "bending" the bible? Sad to say, but I have never read the bible, and I am SURE I wouldn't really understand it.

Sorry Jason,
I missed this post. My surfing for the past few days has been sporadic at best.

A good place to start would be to write down scriptures the pastor preaches on and then read them at home or on spare time. The Bible can be confusing but get into it and it will start to work out. A student edition Bible will help loads too. Keep in mind that a lot of Values we have today are based on the Bible. It isn't way out in left field. Its against theft, lying, homosexuality, molestation, murder, and even adultery. If you find any Church that is lying in any of those areas move on. That doesn't say we arent forgiven. People make mistakes and as long as they truly seek forgiveness they will find it. Just make sure the Church doesn't condone it to any degree (such as some Denominations allowing homosexual pastors).

Something else that will help you GREATLY is to listen to great Preachers either on line or on the Radio. TD Jakes, Jesse Duplantis, Joyce Meyers, and Adrian Rogers for instance. Most of these are very convicted and speak the true word of God.

From what ive seen, MOST student edition Bibles are very staunch on the word of God, especially the King James Version. I go along with the majority of what I read in my student edition Bible. That could be a great source for you to find some truth.

Dont give up on the Church on the first go round either unless you find out they dont believe the Bible 100%. At first you're going to have to Crawl (often refereed to as Babes In Christ). Thats OK, you will grow. Even if you dont understand the preaching 100% keep going. Like my Pastor says, "Come to Church regardless. If you throw enough spaghetti on the wall some is bound to stick."

You've already taken the initiate and if you pour yourself into it you'll have more joy in your life than you expect. I promise you bud, this is a great step and will make a major difference in your life.

Btw, you have my number. Feel free to call me, anytime. Ill gladly do what I can to help.... Call me and we can talk a little more in depth.

[Bachflock]

A good place to start would be to write down scriptures the pastor preaches on and then read them at home or on spare time.

Solid advice right there! Spending time daily will increase your understanding and a good church will shore up the edges.