Is your other half like this????

[HuntingInMaine]

Ok, this is totally unrelated to hunting, but I have to vent! LOL A few of my close friends are going to a local bar tonight and asked if I wanted to come along. I haven't been out in a long time, and my b-day night out fell through, so I REALLY want to go! We have a designated driver, and the guys are more than welcome to come along. I asked my fiance if he wanted to go, he said no so I asked if he minded if I went. He said "no, I don't care if you go." but it was filled with "I am going to have a crappy attitude for the next week if you do go."

I could see if I didn't "let" him go any where, but since we have been together I have planned 3 fishing trips to the Great Lakes for him and friends, 1 bow hunting trip to PA, another gun hunt in NJ, two NASCAR races down south (we are in maine), two in-state moose hunting trips, a golfing trip to myrtle beach, two mexico fishing trips, and numerous little weekend hunting camp get aways with friends.

I am starting to feel more like a door mat than a fiance! I have never asked to go on any of these trips and have usually made all the flight plans, hotel reservations, ect.

I don't think a night out (15 minutes away) should be a big deal, but he always plays the "You are too good looking and all the guys will want to be with you." thing. I was flattered the first couple of times, but now it is getting old.

Didn't mean to go on and on and on, but I did! LOL

What would you do? I know if I go out I am going to have to put up with attitude, but if I don't go I feel like I am "being a good little girl" just to not rock the boat, and that isn't going to make anything better!

Maybe the guys could chime in too since I have heard many of them complain about not being "allowed" to go out???

[HuntnMa]

i would go and if he had attitude , i would care less......he'd definately be kissing my butt, especially after everything you have done for him....sounds like he may be a lil insecure......that is never a good thing.........i'm lucky, i have it too good.i basically do everything i want too, if want to go out i do, i f i want to be gone for 3-4 days on a hunt , i do.i have never had to deal with the third degree , once in awhile attitude, just lil ones though, smartbutt comments here and there, but he can do exactly what he wants to do...we do talk about me being gone and if he has a good reason for not wanting me too, iwouldnt go, but just because is not acceptable, lol.....good luck with him, hope you end up going out and having fun...the designated driver should at least give him some peace of mind...

[buckbuster11]

I would go......he will get over it. If he doesnt then there is a problem. If he is doing that all the time then I would say he doesnt trust you that much. If thats the case then you might want to sit him down and smack him around a little bit.

[slaw]

with all you do for him, he should encourage you to go out and have fun, sounds like he is a little insecure about the relationship if he's worried bout other guys. I encourage my wife to do anything, as much as I am gone hunting

[Alisha]

YES my other half is EXACTLY like that.....

I heard the same exact thing last September on my 21st birthday when a few coworkers offered to take me out to celebrate. When I was reading your post, I was like, WAIT, I didn't post this did I? heh.\

I just can't figure out what the big deal is when it comes to going out with a few friends wanting to take you out somewhere for a special event or whatever. I could understand him fussing about it if you went out with them every weekend, but one time? UGH.

I get these lines -
"But I won't be there to protect you."
"I know how guys at bars are."
"I like it when just the two of us do stuff together."
"Those people you work with won't look out for you like I do."

Hearing that crap just makes me wanna pull my hair out sometimes!!

If I were you, I'd go anyway! That's what I did..... and he got over it in a few days. *shrug*

[HuntingInMaine]

Alisha,

It must be our overwhelming beauty that just scares the guys! LMAO

I did go out, and he wasn't too bad when I got home. Not that he should have had much to say since he took off this morning at 4 am to go ice fishing with the guys!

A little protectiveness is ok, but I won't be told where I can go and what I can or can not do. There is a fine line between caring and controlling!

Thanks for all the advice from everyone!

[Nut]

[ QUOTE ]
I have planned 3 fishing trips to the Great Lakes for him and friends, 1 bow hunting trip to PA, another gun hunt in NJ, two NASCAR races down south (we are in maine), two in-state moose hunting trips, a golfing trip to myrtle beach, two mexico fishing trips, and numerous little weekend hunting camp get aways with friends.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will divorce my wife and you can go anywhere you want whenever you want.



I only just recently told her that it would not be a good ideal for her to go to Florida with her aunt just because I thought it would not be fair for her to go without alot of spending cash. I know her well enough that she would see manythings there that would be cool pick ups and it would just torture her too much.

[robk]

if he is this way now when you get maried it;s all over for sure and the head of jealousy will raise it's ugly head to a degree you don't want to go to. if i were you i would and i am being honest tell him it's over. jealousy is a dangerous trait and you don't need that. it can lead to some damage to your health both physically and mentally. it sounds like a you will have a control freak when your finally married. not hearing his side does make it one sided affair but be careful and imean very very careful.
i hope i am reading this wrong but you be careful
rob k

[Finn]

2 weeks ago, my wife had a conference downtown chicago for 2 nights. (I'm gone often for work, so the shoe was on the other foot) She had a blast and they partied one night at Howl-at-the-Moon. One of the other girls got nearly 20 calls from her spouse. My wife got none. She checked in to let me know she made it and again to let me know when she'd be home.

Now I'm no perfect husband, but I absolutely trust her to have fun without me.

Not sure if it's a control thing or insecurity with some guys.

Good luck.

[carbonhunter]

Trust is the key, I know that everyone is going to take a peak at my girl when she is out, weither I'm there or not. I trust her end of story.
Besides talk about a nice boost of self confidence, I love when she walks anywhere, they look at her and i laugh at them.

[tedicast]

[ QUOTE ]

Now I'm no perfect husband, but I absolutely trust her to have fun without me.

Not sure if it's a control thing or insecurity with some guys.

Good luck.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree 100%. I wish my wife would go out with the girls more often. She deserves to go out and have fun. I have no problem at all with it. I would never have asked her to marry me, if I didn't completely trust her.

[VtBowhunter]

Hey if your planning hunting trips for him then you should go ahead and have some fun yourself.

My ex. used to be that way. Didn't matter what I was doing, she'ld have a bird if I went anywhere. I understand how you feel. It's enough to drive any sane person nuts.

[Tominator]

[ QUOTE ]
"You are too good looking and all the guys will want to be with you." thing.


[/ QUOTE ]

Well, this might hurt, but the statement above is just jealousy, which means he doesn't trust you, which means, IMHO, there's a flaw in his love, or yours.

I Corinthians 13: 1-13

[slaw]

this makes we wonder if thats how he looks at other women when he sees them out....

[HuntingInMaine]

Thanks for all the input. I didn't mean to make him sound like an ogre, he is normally a great bf. It is just that if he has nothing to do, he seems to think I should stay with him. If he is going out with the guys he doesn't have anything to say about me going out with friends. It is only when he would be home alone that he thinks I should stay home. Yes, this is a jealousy problem on his behalf. I have never cheated on him or given him any reason to think I was after someone else, so I am not sure where it is coming from.

Slaw,

I am wondering the same! I know that he doesn't stop looking at women just because I am with him, so I do wonder how he acts if I am not around.

Robk,

Thanks for your concern, I know what you are talking about (I divorced a very abusive husband), but this isn't that sort of situation. (although I am well aware that it is dangerously close to being a big problem!)

Nut,

We'll talk later! LOL
Thanks again everyone....