The difference between man and woman

[HuntingInMaine]

I just got this in an e-mail and thought it was pretty funny. Maybe the man has something there with his thinking...sure is a lot more simple and easy to deal with! LOL

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN.

Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?", And then there is silence in the car.

To Elaine, it seems to be a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.".

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily forward.... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading towards marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that kind of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: ....so that means it was....let's see....February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer"s, which means....lemme check the speedometer....Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitments; maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he is so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And the better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage-truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry,too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's a 90-day warranty....scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding on his white horse, when I'm sitting next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I do truly care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasies.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty and stick it right up their.....

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have.....Oh God, feel so... (She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger.

"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There is no knight, there is no horse."

"There's no horse?' says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I....I need some time," Elaine says.

(There's a 15 second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work) "Yes", he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time", says Elaine.

"Oh," says Roger, "Yes".

Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.

"Thank you, Roger," she says.

"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediatly becomes deeply involved in the return of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there the car, but he is pretty sure he would never understand what, and so he figures it's better he doesn't think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail they will analyze everything he said and everything she said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never get bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing raquetball one day with a mutual friend, of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

[billygoat]

So what's the problem, Linda?

[bexar_county89]

it makes sense to me too much sense actually

[Finn]

Linda,

That is exactly why men will never understand women...some of you all are too complicated for my simple mind

[7th]

Poor guy, he never did get to know ware the horse came from? Was there even a horse there? Ware is the Popcorn?
Frank.

[chicks_hunt_to]

that sounds about right

[BoDice]

I knew a girl like that once......


"BO" ...

[Muff]

I am married to one....

[VtBowhunter]

I divorced one, lol.

[carbonhunter]

[ QUOTE ]
I divorced one, lol.

[/ QUOTE ]

ROFLMA