The Worst Foods to Eat on Stand

By author of Brow Tines and Backstrap

Some snacks are right at home in the deer woods while others should never, ever be there

Chips have no place in the deer woods. Image by Bill Konway

I’ve been there. That time when deer are running all around, but your guts feel seconds away from disaster. It’s a race to the nearest log, and layers are flying all over as you trip and fall your way through the woods. You’d give up a 180 buck just to drop that deuce before it drops you. It’s best not to eat things that’ll cause problems like that.

Other snacks have other issues. Crunching, crinkling, and wafting odors aren’t good. If you can hear or smell a noisy or pungent food, so can deer. It’s not worth it taking that stuff to the woods. Altogether, here’s a list of the worst snack foods to take to the deer stand — and a few better options at the end.

The Offenders

Some foods weren’t meant for the wild, or even to be eaten during the day or two leading up to treks afield. The following are some of those foods to avoid.

Apples: Moms and dads give their younglings apple juice when they’re constipated. There’s a reason for that. And it’s the same reason you shouldn’t eat an apple or drink its delicious juice before or during a hunt. Plus, apple crunching is loud. A variety of other fruits are just as bad, so be careful about packing them.

Beans: I don’t think we need an explanation for this one. Beans are so toxic on departure that an N95 couldn’t save you. That Thermos of chili on a cold day can seem like a great idea, until … 

Candy: These are almost always loaded with sugar. Both real and artificial sweeteners can spark the jitters, making it more difficult to remain still. Plus, the wrappers make noise you don’t need.

Chips: Greasy chips sometimes move through the digestive system quickly. But more importantly, these are very loud to eat and require a lot of movement.

Dairy: Milk, cheese, yogurt, and other dairy items are good for you, but not when you’re hunting.

But the worst of all? That gas station cheeseburger I had a few weeks ago while scouting some public land in Tennessee. I sent two of those greasy monsters down the hatch, and they found a way into the wilderness two hours later. I hope no one walks through that area anytime soon.

The Better Options

Let’s now leave the talk of bowel movements behind us. Everybody needs a little snack on stand, and there are many suitable foods for that. Some of these include energy bars, jerky, nuts, crackers, sandwiches, soups, trail mix, and more. I’ve got a sweet tooth, too, and like Little Debbies and donuts, despite the sugar. Pack something to snack on, but be smart about it. Don’t take something that’s going to get you busted, either in the treestand or when departing it for undesirable but very necessary reasons.

(Don't Miss: 30 Reasons You Won’t Get Your Target Buck This Fall)

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