10 Reasons Why You Suck at Turkey Hunting

By author of Turkey Blog with Steve Hickoff

Little Things Are Big Deals When You Turkey Hunt

Some folks just can't figure out the turkey hunting tradition for trying.

Oh, they're good bass anglers, even deer hunters, but the little things you have to put together to kill a spring gobbler – or even a fall turkey where legal – are lost on them.

10 Reasons Why You Suck at Turkey Hunting (© Ryan Orndorff illustration)

Little things are big deals when you turkey hunt. Here are 10 reasons why you suck at it.


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1 | Texting

Why You Suck: You can't stop texting, even while hunting.

Hyper-paranoid wild turkeys see this constant movement and they want no part of it.

Solution: Turn your phone off and hunt.

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2 | Sleeping

Why You Suck: You're asleep when a gobbler cruises by silently, looking at your decoys.

Yes, it's true, sometimes catnaps at your hunting setup help recharge your batteries.

Solution: Be selective about when you rest in the turkey woods. 

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3 | Boredom

Why You Suck: You just don't care for all the intangible things that go into a turkey hunt.

True enough, some people like us are obsessed with turkey hunting, while others aren't.

Solution: Work in quick "flash hunts" for turkeys to keep your interest peaked.  

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4 | Hunger

Why You Suck: That great feed at the local diner before dawn has worn off.

You wanted to travel light, but now you're stomach is growling again. Oh, man.

Solution: Carry along snacks when you turkey hunt

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5 | Thirst

Why You Suck: "Oh man, I can't believe my water bottle is back at the truck."

You forget how important it is to bring along a thirst-quencher until . . .

Solution: Stash something to drink in the game tote of your turkey hunting vest.

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6 | Patience

Why You Suck: You hardly have the patience to sit an hour at the base of a tree.

Yes, nothing seems to be happening right now, but it might in a few seconds . . .

Solution: Can't quite master turkey hunting out in the open? Get a pop-up blind.

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7 | Discomfort

Why You Suck: You forgot a seat cushion. Your boots leaked. 

It's hard to sit still and concentrate on turkeys with the onset of hypothermia.

Solution: Make a gear list, check it twice, and prepare for the hunt before you start.

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8 | Issues

Why You Suck: You're worried about your job. You have someplace to be. 

To turkey hunt well, you have to put your work and family duties on hold.

Solution: If you can, just concentrate on turkey hunting – for at least a morning if you can.

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9 | Rookie

Why You Suck: You're just getting started, and frustration is setting in.

You have to start somewhere, just like every other turkey hunter.

Solution: Practice your calling. Hunt a lot. The turkeys will teach you plenty.


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10 | Disruptions

Why You Suck: Other hunters move in on you. Other factors mess with your hunts.

Face it, you repeatedly hunt pressured spots, with annoying disruptions.

Solution: Pick up and find an unpressured location with birds. And good luck . . .

And when you finally kill a gobbler, some of these reasons will fade into history.

Now give thanks.

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Editor's note: This blog post was first published Feb. 5, 2017.

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